Feng Shui: the new Jenny Craig

Yesterday, my workplace started it's annual "10,000 Steps Challenge" which encourages staff to walk a minimum of 10,000 steps per day. We all get pedometers, form teams and start sabotaging each other from the get go, but I decided that this year I would use this as the start of a health kick as my health and weight is becoming of increasing concern.

According to the Chinese Gods, losing weight is all about increasing the energy of your body: silly me, I thought it was about eating less and exercising more.

An important part of increasing your body energy is to make sure you can't see you kitchen from your front door. Below is what I see as soon as I open my front door: you see my problem.

Apparently screening your kitchen from the entrance to your home will prevent you from thinking about food upon your arrival home: "You should place desirable objects in your line of sight, such an exercise bike or running shoes."


I'm sorry, but if I'm putting desirable objects in me line of sight it won't be smelly shoes and an uncomfortable exercise bike: it'll be Johnny Depp looking for an Oscars date.

I think the ultimate point of this is that if you place objects that motivate you to lose weight - a picture of new mum Miranda Kerr for example - when you first come in the door you'll get an attack of the guilts because you don't have her legs (but who aside from her actually does??) and go for the fish and vegies instead of creamy pasta.

Right, so we've agreed that shielding the kitchen is slightly problematic. What's the next logical step - changing the colour of your tablecloth of course: how did I not know this?

Using black or dark blue tablecloths or placemats on your table cast off energy that can deter you from feeling overly hungry and prevent you from overeating. I'd really like to go with this theory but as my tablecloth is already black, I'm pretty sure I can knock this idea on the head.

Option three: use colours when preparing food. "It's no secret that fruits and vegetables are among the most colourful of all foods, so integrate as many different types as possible to make your dinner plate a virtual rainbow of colours and flavour choices."


Ummm isn't eating fruits and vegetables health eating 101?? I don't think feng shui can take the accolades for coming up with this idea.

At this stage I decide it's starting to look a little slim (pardon the pun) but I persevere and discover this little gem: meditate before eating.

Now if you've looked at my blog once or twice, you'll know that meditation is on my list of experiences to try which means I've pretty much written it off as an over0rated pointless waste of time: clearly I' not going to take this path even if it will stop me from stuffing my face by thinking of other things.

Sadly, I can't see feng shui helping me on this health pursuit: looks like it's carrot and celery sticks all the way!