6 hours and ten minutes to go

So for an added challenge on the last day of my first mission, I decided to have the day off work.

Admittedly I had visitors arriving so I only had to entertain myself for about 9 hours but still - 9 hours at home alone without watching movies.

Walking, pilates, dishes, vacuuming, groceries and an eye lash tint later I'd made it to 12pm. Logged on to work emails and responded to few welcome 12.20pm.

Crap. I then played two solo rounds of 'Scene it' while I ate lunch, the pretty much just danced round the living room - literally. We've been learning to ballroom dance so I sued the solitude and open space as a chance to practice.

One thing I am slightly disappointed in myself about is that I don't feel I've been using my non-tv time overly well. When I started I had visions of me doing jigsaws, mastering Photoshop, even indulging in a bit of writing. Instead after I'd made dinner, eaten dinner, cleaned up, and made lunches for the next day, I plopped down to a bit of reading and promptly fell asleep.

Hmmm

I blame the feng shui. The better sleeping energy in the bedroom works far too well. And ok, so I had started getting up at sparrow's fart for morning walks so that could account for something too...

On the plus side, my unit has never stayed so tidy for so long, I feel more energetic of a morning, and making lunches the night before definitely helps with the whole wanting to do exercise in the morning thing.

This whole experience has shown that even though I didn't think I did, I spent far too much time indulging in the viewing pleasures of television and I was feeling more rushed about as a result. So now, I think I'll make a point of not sitting down to watch TV before 8pm on weeknights unless it happens to be on one of those once-in-a-blue-moon days when hubby cooks dinner: then I might let myself have a bit of a treat: especially with Four Weddings and Glee starting at 7.30!

As for the feng shui, I had fun rearranging the house and bits and pieces of redecorating, and although the matchbox now feels shoe-box like, I still don't buy into this whole positive energy thing.  I won't rush to change anything back to the way it was: I don't want to offend the god of oven!

Now there's 5 hours and 54 minutes to go..not that I'm counting or anything

I'm Feng Screwed

48 hours to go until the end of my first mission and I realise that I've spent so much time worrying about the energy at home, I didn't stop and think about the energy flow at the other place where I spend all my time...

The office.

So a quick bit of research for various sources and I uncover a few common do's and don't for feng shui and work and well, let's just say things are not going my way:

1. Sit in the corner farthest from the entrance: I sit directly next to the fire doors
2. Don't sit in lie with the door: See above
3. Sit with a tall building behind you to provide support if your back is to a window: They window behind me looks over the main road into and out of the Nation's Capital, and also where drug-fueled bogans regularly have domestic disputes full of four-letter expletives as they walk down the footpath. What do you think that means?
4. Have an aquarium with some fish: This would be where the window is. I can't have the negativity from the bogans disturbing more living creatures than they do already
5. Keep your back toward a corner or wall for support: finally! One I get right
6. Balance light and dark colours, rough and smooth textures and soft and hard surfaces in your choice of furniture and flooring: I'm  public servant so I get what I'm given
7. Don't arrange your space so you look straight at stairs, storage rooms, closets or toilets: I look up from my computer and see the entry to the men's loos
8. Treat the files in your office with respect: Filing is the devil's work

So the title of today's post says it all really: I'm feng screwed!!

Previously on NCIS.....

This is the big test: 3 days to go and my favourite TV show comes back on the air. Currently I've got an ipod in bopping around the house on shuffle in an effort to not hear what's going on.

Unfortunately even on shuffle there are tiny 3-5 second spaces of quiet. Here's what I've picked up so far:
"Amnesia...Dinozzo...Palmer is back in Spring....let me guess the line has blurred...then I can't help you...autopsy..gun shots"

Of course to go along with this I've got hubby calling out "Franks isn't really dead," "Tony & Ziva are shagging" and "Hetty got shot"

The last one is a worry since Hetty is is NCIS: Los Angeles and that doesn't start til 9.30.

Thankfully, I'm not prepared to believe anything he says and will find out in my own time: which I have just realised may not be until at least 6 days after my self-imposed TV exile due to a plethora of other things going on in my life which all sounded exciting and fun when I didn't have TV to occupy my time.

oh well, back to the iPod for the time being

Makes it all worthwhile...

So last night at a family gathering, I was explaining to various family members what the idea behind this blog was. Their reactions went from the polite "just nod your head and smile" (aka clearly she's crazy), to the more interested "so what are you going to give up next?"

I've gotta admit, I liked the conversations where I convinced others I wasn't crazy more that the others :-)

There was something invigorating about explaining my reasons to people who otherwise wouldn't dream of giving up something unless they were advised by their health care professional or psychic to do so. When talking about giving up wearing make-up for instance, I heard the usual "but I don't feel confident without it" and got to explain that THAT is the point. It's about getting out of your comfort zone, being brave, trying and something new and maybe, just maybe, living a more fulfilled life as a result.

Not sure they believed me, but at least there's a few more people who know about my mission now, and the fact they think I'm a slight bit of a nutter makes me even more determined to see this through!

Spring has sprung and so have new episodes and a problematic bathroom

Both the giving and the taking got a work out today on one of those rare Sunday's where I don't have to flap about like a crazy person.

Whilst making the most of the glorious weather Mother Nature blessed us with, I got to thinking that maybe this whole giving up TV thing was way too easy given that none of the shows I "have" to watch are actually on. Then I read the TV guide...

The next fortnight is going to be a challenge with all new episodes of "Glee," "NCIS," "NCIS: Los Angeles," and "Four Weddings" all scheduled to air over the next 12 days: and these 4 shows just happen to appear on my 'must-watch" list. Mock me - I dare you

Yes I know that with the marvels of modern technology I can watch them online later, but it isn't the same as bunkering down in the living room with hubby watching them together...ok, so maybe it's more that I'm a little concerned he'll throw spoliers about left, right and centre.

But, this makes me even more determined to see my first mission through to the end as now it really is a challenge.

Also whilst pondering the TV matter I realised that after all the feng shui-ing I've been doing there's one room I've forgotten about: the bathroom. I've done the oven, why not the loo too?

The first thing everyone simply must know about bathroom feng shui is that having the throne room in the middle of the house is "totally unacceptable" and that health problems can ensue if you can often smell or see the toilet.

How often do you think is 'often'? Because I'm pretty sure I don't want to be in a 20km radius when hubby is losing the facilities some mornings.

This particular snippet of feng shui gold continues by saying that if the first room you enter a house through is the bathroom, the people living there will be plagues by health and financial problems: not to mention that they clearly lack taste and design skills.

Seriously, who makes the bathroom one of the entry points to their house??

Thankfully this is one area my matchbox hasn't let down in after failing the feng shui requirements for a kitchen, losing weight and not to mention having a bad front door. My bathroom is at the back of the house, adjacent to the laundry and living area..oh F$%#!

Further reading reveals that bathrooms need to be kept well away from the dining and living room (which isn't going to happen) and you also need to hide the toilet from the bath area so in an open plan bathroom like we've got, a screen would need to be used. Given our current desire to save $$ so that we can upgrade to a shoebox, below is my solution using items currently at my disposal:

Yeah, I'm pretty sure the only thing worse than bad bathroom feng shui is having pictures of your nearest and dearest stare at you while you go about your business.....

Feng Shui: the new Jenny Craig

Yesterday, my workplace started it's annual "10,000 Steps Challenge" which encourages staff to walk a minimum of 10,000 steps per day. We all get pedometers, form teams and start sabotaging each other from the get go, but I decided that this year I would use this as the start of a health kick as my health and weight is becoming of increasing concern.

According to the Chinese Gods, losing weight is all about increasing the energy of your body: silly me, I thought it was about eating less and exercising more.

An important part of increasing your body energy is to make sure you can't see you kitchen from your front door. Below is what I see as soon as I open my front door: you see my problem.

Apparently screening your kitchen from the entrance to your home will prevent you from thinking about food upon your arrival home: "You should place desirable objects in your line of sight, such an exercise bike or running shoes."


I'm sorry, but if I'm putting desirable objects in me line of sight it won't be smelly shoes and an uncomfortable exercise bike: it'll be Johnny Depp looking for an Oscars date.

I think the ultimate point of this is that if you place objects that motivate you to lose weight - a picture of new mum Miranda Kerr for example - when you first come in the door you'll get an attack of the guilts because you don't have her legs (but who aside from her actually does??) and go for the fish and vegies instead of creamy pasta.

Right, so we've agreed that shielding the kitchen is slightly problematic. What's the next logical step - changing the colour of your tablecloth of course: how did I not know this?

Using black or dark blue tablecloths or placemats on your table cast off energy that can deter you from feeling overly hungry and prevent you from overeating. I'd really like to go with this theory but as my tablecloth is already black, I'm pretty sure I can knock this idea on the head.

Option three: use colours when preparing food. "It's no secret that fruits and vegetables are among the most colourful of all foods, so integrate as many different types as possible to make your dinner plate a virtual rainbow of colours and flavour choices."


Ummm isn't eating fruits and vegetables health eating 101?? I don't think feng shui can take the accolades for coming up with this idea.

At this stage I decide it's starting to look a little slim (pardon the pun) but I persevere and discover this little gem: meditate before eating.

Now if you've looked at my blog once or twice, you'll know that meditation is on my list of experiences to try which means I've pretty much written it off as an over0rated pointless waste of time: clearly I' not going to take this path even if it will stop me from stuffing my face by thinking of other things.

Sadly, I can't see feng shui helping me on this health pursuit: looks like it's carrot and celery sticks all the way!

May have cheated slightly...

I feel so guilty!

I'm sitting out on the futon typing this and hubby is watching Spicks & Specks and I my gaze may or may be straying to the bright lights and pretty colours...

There's only 11 minutes to go and I'm only looking up every minute or two so that's not too bad right?

To pay my penance I'll go to bed without dessert :-)

It's Thursday already??

What a week! Although I have felt like I was merely treading water a few times this week, and although I've fallen asleep by 9pm most nights, I've gotta admit this busy lifestyle makes it much easier to avoid the TV temptation.

I've also discovered that I get more questions right on "Spicks & Specks" when I'm only listening to it as opposed to watching it - I think the bright colours of their set distracts me!

Today, I worship the God of Oven...

Having successfully - I think, how do you tell? - feng shui-ed the major rooms of my house I decided that this week my attention will be on feng shui for better health.  The first step is applying the techniques I've already learned to the two main centres for health in the home: the kitchen and the bathroom. This is timely as both my kitchen and bathroom are in desperate need of a good clean but as everyone knows you don't do both of them in the same day - too much work.

So the kitchen it is. Ideally, the kitchen should face either South or East when you enter it which are the directions for light and wind: mine faces north so I'm backwards from the start. Despite this, the kitchen is an easy room to keep in balance as it is a predominantly 'fire' room but because of the cupboards (wood), utensils (metal), earthenware (earth) and the plumbing (water) all five elements converge to provide one harmonious location.

The Chinese believe there is a God of Oven to protect the people of the house and therefore always treat their ovens with respect e.g. there are no cloths hanging over it and the oven is never placed near the toilet...

Who puts their oven near the toilet??? I know my house is the size of a matchbox but even the builders managed to keep the kitchen and toilet separate.

So how does one appease this almighty God of Oven? Thankfully he/she doesn't believe in human sacrifice so that's a relief but there are a number of other requirements that must be met:

• keep the oven and surrounding area clean and hygienic
• ensure good chi is circulating i.e. no clutter!
• do not have your oven in line with the front door
• do not have you oven under the window: if this can't be rectified, cook with the blinds / curtains closed
• do not place your oven directly next to the fridge or sinks as 'water' puts out the 'fire.' If this can't be helped hang green crystals in between the two to act as a moderator

One final thing to note: the God of Oven is a modest being, so if your kitchen is visible from the main entrance of your home erect a screen or hang a curtain of green beads. If this isn't possible, consider placing a large crystal geode in the living room to draw attention.

Right, well I'd best duck off to find a crystal geode to avert the eyes from the shrine of the God of Oven: my cooking can be worrisome at the best of times, I don't need to endure the wrath of a God to make it worse!

I hope there isn't a God of the Toilet....

Damn you hidden objects!

I have to admit, this whole not watching TV thing has been easier than I thought - except on Saturday nights. After being at netball for most of the day, then to the pub from the customary post-natch bevvies, there really is nothing better than coming home and curling up in front of the telly for some relaxing.

But you'll all be pleased to know I have resisted, and given that I lost my netball final today - BOO! - I'm thinking this issue will abate. As Emunchkin mentions in her latest post though, I to am getting a litte sick of sitting on the bed in the bedroom so I suspect an alternative nook needs to be uncovered for me to settle myself in.

The good things about no TV though is I don't think our house has stayed this tidy for this long in a very long time - actually ever! Additionally lunches and morning teas are made and packed the night before which gives me time to actually do some exercise in the morning instead of rushing about like I was a mere 11 or so days ago.

On the downside, I have discovered an alarming addiction to on-line hidden object games. Do you know the ones? You find them on sites like Shockwave.com or games.com and the idea is to find a list of objects buried within a picture of complete chaos, put some back into their proper locations and solve puzzles along the way. So after I've pottered about, done the dishes, made lunches and had a bit of a general tidy up I've found myself immersed into this hidden object world, catching killers, travelling the world and helping unhappy ghosts "move on."

I'm surprised at how addictive I've found it and wonder whether I would've felt the same way had TV still occupied some of my down time. I guess there's only one way to find out but I've still got 20 days to wait before I can test the theory :-)

Seven words I never thought my husband would say...

And on the seventh day hell froze over, pigs flew and Bob became my Uncle!

Not fully concentrating on what  I was doing this morning as I prepared to leave the house, I left the toilet (in this case the bathroom) door open. Clearly not aware of the gravity of the situation I had placed myself in I pottered along, merrily gathering my belongings for a day at the grindstone until I saw the look on my husbands face as he pointed behind me.

Concern. Shock. Bewilderment.

This was quite fitting as they were the exact emotions I felt when he said:

Do you want our chi to escape?


Hurriedly I closed the door apologising like an ashamed child who had just been told for the fiftieth time to pick up their toys.

What is the world coming to?

Too much 'chi' not enough zzzzzzzz

Feng Shui gods you didn't tell me that once I've aligned my bedroom in the right direction with the correct elements and moving my bed out from under the window that I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO SLEEP!!

I can confirm that by moving the bed out from under the window and closing all the doors while we're sleeping, not to mention keeping the room clear of clutter does impact the vibe you get in your room but not in a positive way.

There's so much energy floating around now it's impossible to freakin sleep - and I can't get up to watch TV to nod off!!!

Bugger

Dear Landlord, I'd like to paint the front door magenta....

After channeling the chi in our bedroom to something more productive according to 'them' attention then turned to the other important area of the house: the living room.

This is significant for two reasons:

1. Hubby hasn't left me yet (he had to do the heavy lifting); and
2. our living room essentially IS our unit

If you read yesterday's post you'll know that arguments ensued when it was revealed hubby and I have different kua numbers and therefore require different furniture arrangement.

If you read yesterday's post you will also know that through a process that had bugger-all to do with feng shui and more to do with my ability to bamboozle hubby with big words quickly, the bedroom ended up suited to my kua and he got the living room.

The latest thing I have discovered about feng shui is that it doesn't take one's interior design prowess into account. Yes, I do have to have the main seating area facing east (hubby's lucky direction) but the wall it sits against is 5m long and also has to house the DVD collection, and although I'm sure it isn't good for them to be next to each other, I really don't like the way the DVD shelves clash with the desk. And what about the futon? The only place for it to go is under the window because otherwise the aesthetics are thrown off completely but does that mean our chi and that of our future guests will escape or does the mere presence of a TV in the room mean our chi is fried regardless??

Then to addle my thoughts even further I discover that none of the above really matters if I don't have a strong front door. I'm thinking "cool, sure the door doesn't fall down when someone knocks, nor does it shudder in its frame when it's blowing a gale so it's definitely strong."

How wrong could I be?

In the feng shuniverse the strength of your front door doesn't depend on it's build and sturdiness - don't be silly - it depends if it's well cared for, provides an unobstructed flow of energy, is in harmony with the direction it faces and is in proportion with the building structure.

Our front door has paint peeling, squeaky hinges, the remains of a previous tenants surname seared into the wood and is lucky to be 1/20 of the building size.

As our front door faces south the only way to truly fix this energy-shattering travesty is to paint it the 'south' colours: red, orange, yellow, purple or pink.

Do you think anyone will notice next inspection?

I'll have the bedroom, you get the toilet

Firstly, let me start by saying there was no Saturday update mostly because my Saturday's are always too busy too watch TV and with a netball semi final on my mind, feng shui was the last thing I wanted to worry about, though I did use the opportunity to de-clutter the desk drawers (and we won our semi - woohoo!)

Sunday, however is a different story. After spending Friday night measuring up the unit to give me an accurate bagua, hubby wasn't quite as patient when I explained there were a few things we needed to discover before simply moving the furniture around. Still, he paced up and down as I sought answers to some of the more puzzling questions I was to face today.

My feng shui birth element is Water. Turns out this is based on the year you were born in the Chinese calendar, year of the dog, rat, etc. Easy done, know that one, this doesn't sound too difficult.

A water person embraces the flexibility of water but like water, can also wear down the hardest rock given enough time - which means nagging is an inherent part of me that simply has to be embraced!


Good Feng Shui for water people includes decorating in white, grey (metal), blue and black, but avoiding all 'sandy' or earthly colours. Water fountains, mirrors and art or photos depicting water are strongly advised, but earthenware, crystals or rocks are to be avoided.

Ok so now I have some boundaries - but then I looked around my bedroom..

EVERYTHING IS TIMBER! My bed, the bedside tables, bookshelf and tall boy - all of it! I started thinking "shit, the feng shui gods must be laughing at me" before I realised that wood is also a  feng shui element so it wouldn't be classed as 'earthly.' 

Still, I put blue sheets and a shades-of-blue doona cover on my bed just in case.

But then I read "feng shui tips for your bedroom" courtesy of About.com.

Best colours for a bedroom are "skin colours" and it's a good idea to avoid blue (unless sky blue) and be careful with mirrors it tells me. Well how can I do that if that's what my element tells me I need to have???

I've decided that feng shui is a bit like religion: you just pick the bits that work for you.

Then of course came the matter of where to place the bed. Originally, it was placed so that our heads were under the window and hubby closest to the door so that if we are ever robbed / attacked the robbers/attackers will get him first. I thought this was a sensible approach, but feng shui says no.

Apparently your 'chi' escapes out the window while you're sleeping if you have your head under it.

Right so now which way do we go? Our room only measures about 3.5m square so the options are limited. Never fear, this is what your 'Kua number' is for.

Your Kua Number if essentially your lucky number is worked out differently depending if your male or femals: just another way the universe puts the sexes on polar opposites. And yep, what do you know it my lucky number is 6 and his is 9. 

69

While hubby cracks himself up about some crass image he has forming in his head, I read further to discover my ideal direction is west and his is east. Single beds are banned so how the hell is this going to work??

We try for some non-feng shui discussion and arguments fly back and forth using logic that doesn't extend further than " I don't want to be the first person the robbers get" and "I pee more during the night than you do."

Sadly, this gets us nowhere and further research reveals a solution. If it isn't possible to satisfy the feng shui gods of both people in the bedroom, then one gets the bedroom and the other gets the other room they spend most of their time in.

I win the bedroom, Matt gets the living room - which, if anyone who's been to our place essentially means he gets the rest of the unit. I wanted to give him the toilet since he does spend a lot of time on there, but that got shot down.

I should point out that I won the bedroom mostly because apparently the top of the bed can't back on to a wall with electrical appliances on the other side.

The final result:

Space to move, clutter gone and enough space for me to store a cricket bat next to me for when the robbers come to visit....

Next stop, the living room

I didn't wear the Mentos so that totally counts

So apparently the first and most important step in introducing feng shui to your life is de-cluttering. Not just stuffing things into a cupboard so that the visible space looks clean, but completely getting rid of everything "you do not love" in your house.

But I love everything.

I need the year's supply of wipes from KFC & Red Rooster that I found among my 15 handbags, I need the thousands of bobby bins scattered in random locations throughout my bedroom, and most importantly I need the 10 different toiletry bags that I own.

I've been taking my feng shui advice from About.com and it recommends that you set yourself timed targets for the first stages of de-cluttering. I decided 20 mins should be enough to quickly go through my drawers and wardrobe and throw out the stuff I haven't worn this winter, or sadly, no longer fits.

I'm typing this 90 minutes after I started. And in that 90 minutes I've thrown out one pair of jeans (with holes), an airline ticket I found from 5 August 2010, 3 three t-shirts and a handful of squished Mentos....

Not bad for a first attempt :-)

Invasion of the body snatchers...

My husband had just started drawing up a floor plan for my feng shui bagua without me even MENTIONING it.

I think he has been taken over by an alien life form: does anyone have the Men in Black on speed dial??

Dropping cars from a crane is a suitable alternative to Kochie...

When it comes to the battle of the TV breakfast shows I'm a Sunrise girl. I know Mel can be a little flippant and cheery at the most inappropriate of times and Kochie can come across as a bit of a wanker, but there's something about the show that compels me to tune in every morning.

Until today.

Today, the radio show I listen to on my way to work dropped two cars from 43 meters in the air to see which could make the biggest "whump."

It was like TopGear had come to Canberra.

Of course had my allergic-to-the-morning husband gotten out of bed when the alarm went off (why even se the alarm if you're not gong to get up when it goes off???) we could have watched it in person but there was something endearing about listening to two grown men giggle like school girls as they watched 2 tonnes of machinery crash to earth.

I don't think I've evry truly appreciated the power of listening as opposed to watching until you listen in on someone having the time of their life, and seeing the reactions of people around you. Matt drove to work with the BIGGEST smile on his face.

I guess the same can be said when you listen in on someones pain or anguish, so I was a little disappointed that I had gotten to work and out of the car before Scotty & Nige announced which of the owners of now pancake-like cars won a brand new Suszuki swift and which one a pushie....

I'm Inspiring!

Loving that onve of my faves "Emunchkin" is taking up the challenge with me :-)

I wonder how she'll go for the month we give up alcohol.... Luv ya Em xx

Anyone got a compass?

I'm so glad September 1 fell on a Thursday - it was always a poor TV viewing night in my book. Except when Grey's Anatomy was on (and only before Meredith irked me to the point where I stopped watching completely).

Day 1 went well, although I have had to make a few concessions to appease my surprisingly tolerant (though, 24 hours hasn't passed yet) husband. When it's my turn to cook and do the dishes, the TV can stay on but I have to potter about doing things - I can't stop and watch.

When it's his turn to cook and do the dishes I get banished to a non-TV room.

We had to come up with boundaries because anyone who has been to my place knows the main part of the unit is only about 10 meters long, which means there's only about 6 meters between the kitchen and the TV. Additionally, we generally cook whilst the news is on and my husband "feels it's important for you to at least hear what's going on in the world, just in case something relevant to your work arises."

This is man-speak for "don't involve me in your crazy-ass plan."

Feng Shui wise I gave myself a crash course in the basics, ready to start putting some bits of it into practice tomorrow. I've got to make my 'bagua,' find a compass and embrace essential oils.

Did you know that there is specific Feng Shui for your home, your office space, small kitchens, losing weight and increasing wealth? 

I didn't.

The things you learn when you're not lazing around watching TV :-)

Challenge 1

So in addition to giving up tv for a month, I now have to tell my husband we need to remove the tv from our bedroom because it's bad feng shui.....

Anyone know a good divorce lawyer?