Lured by a bogan bride and a 80kg dress...

This week I had to work on a trade stand at a nation-wide conference for work, liaising with stakeholders, giving away copies of our publications, etc.

Initially I thought this would be a great opportunity to work on my 10 "perfect" coloured knitting lines (which Grandma said I need to do before I move to my actual scarf) but at the last minute left it out of the baggage thinking to myself "Monday is setting up the stand, and Tuesday/Wednesday is working it, so Like I'll have time.."

Wrong

My colleague and I were told to be at the venue for 7am Monday morning as the furniture for our stand would be delivered between 7am and 12pm and we HAD to be there to meet it.

Yeah, our furniture arrived at 4.30pm.

In addition to that, the organisers cut off the power to the booths so I couldn't even do some work remotely which was also a pain in the ass.

To combat some of the boredom, my colleague bypassed a newsagent on her way back from a coffee run and came back with a Woman's Day.

Now we'd been discussing various things we've given up over the years due to dietary conditions (me) or lifestyle changes (her) but I didn't really know how to explain giving up gossip mags to her so chose to ignore it.

I picked at my nail polish, wandered around the different booths, stepped out for some lunch but then saw a photo which broke my control...

The ugliest tiara and wedding dress you have EVER seen.

This idiot of a 25-yr old girl had been planning her "dream wedding" since she was 10 and it involved a 4kg tiara of love hearts, an eight tier castle wedding cake and an 80kg wedding dress.

Yep, you read correctly, her dress weighted 80kg

And judging by the amount of mascara she had on, her eyelashes weighed about 80kg too.

I'm a sucker for all wedding-related things, but especially trashy "my big fat gypsy wedding"-esque weddings so I gave in and read the article, mostly so I could find some hint of a disorder that would explain the marital mess.

So I technically went against my "giving-up" but avoided all entertainment/Hollywood related gossip....

That's not really failing right??